How to make a women fall in love with you
Many experienced PUA's make a horrifying discovery that can cripple their thoughts of stable relationships between men and women. Once they master the game of quick attraction and see how quickly women are to participate in this 'secret society' of complete disregard for their established partners, they assume that ALL women cheat and cannot be trusted.
I know this is *not* the case.. When you have a woman who is truly in love with you, she will bend over backwards to remain faithful and does her best to prove her allegiance to you on a regular basis.
How do you know if your woman is in love?
Some tell-tale signs are.. When you go to a club and a man of better looks and better personality sexually approaches your woman (She may be a 9.5 and you may come in at a 7) you can walk away from the interaction and she will leave his company quickly and almost violently, to find you wherever you have run off to with NO AMOGING NECESSARY.
She will tell you about any man that approaches her without your asking and you feel fine telling her you'd rather not hear about it.
You can act completely AFC around her, get away with absolutely anything, and she will still love you for it.
You can express your feelings completely and not have to hide parts of yourself because you want to remain somewhat of a mystery to build attraction.
She repeatedly says things to you over and over about how she doesn't know how she could go on without you, she doesn't lie to you about anything, and there is a mutual feeling of trust and respect that is proven over and over, time and time again.
What causes this? Most people would say that it's about being the coolest guy, being able to amog any potential suitor that tries to come for your girl, never giving the girl everything so shes always fighting to know the real you, being the 'perfect man' in her eyes with money, looks, career choice, and personality, and continuely providing excitement and adventure for her. Other thoughts are that you are viewed as the 'prize' and you maintain an air of desirability by constantly surrounding yourself with other women who desire you..
These are all great for ATTRACTION. but have NOTHING TO DO with LOVE..
A woman who is all ATTRACTION for you, will leave or cheat on you in a heartbeat for someone who can generate more attraction.. and there will ALWAYS be someone who can do this, especially if you are in a LTR with a 9.5 and you are much less attractive than them.
Where does LOYAL LOVE come from then?
After breaking down several LTRs i've been in with women who are much more attractive than me I've come to one trait that trumps all the rest..
it's HOW YOU HANDLE HER VULNERABLITIES.
Every woman on this planet has their own set of vulnerabilities and insecurities which more or less affect their behavior on a daily basis. Both LSE and HSE girls. Since women are much more emotional creatures than men, these vulnerabilites affect them in ways that we can't begin to understand. If you can be the man that can handle her vulnerablilites in a way where she won't feel threatened, in a way where she can feel safe with you in possession of them, in a way where she trusts you not to manipulate or exploit her vulnerablities in any way, and in a way where she feels she can open up to you further, then you are so IN. Conversely, if you exploit her vulnerablities in a negative way.. you are so OUT. she will live to play you as a sucker..
How do you cultivate this?
It takes time.. Initially with a woman you have to play the attraction game 110%. Don't think you can get a girl to love you FIRST and then magically be attracted later! thats the Grand AFC Tragedy... Enjoy the attraction game! Don't rush love by any means as there's nothing funner and MORE NECESSARY than cultivating mad attraction between people.. BUT if you really enjoy this one and want to bring LOYAL LOVE into the mix, keep an eye out for when she opens up insecurities to you.. They will start with little ones. Maybe she's afraid of spiders.. something like this. Treat them all with sensitivity and understanding.. Over time if she feels comfortable with giving you the smaller ones, larger ones will come out of the woodworks.. DON'T FISH FOR THEM! They need to give these to you on their own schedule. If you fish for vulnerabilites you will probably scare them away and that's just plain weak. She will give up this information on her own time. Handle them all with care and the goal should be to create an UNSPOKEN UNDERSTANDING that you can be trusted with and to handle her vulnerablities. You must be the man she can count on to be a pillar of strength when these issues come up.
When you do this, you anchor yourself deeper than anything simple attraction could do. You can actually QUIT GAMING your girl! There is also no way any man off the street could come in and match what you offer without putting in long-term time and effort, which your woman will be very reluctant to let them do. Your girl will let you get away with being as AFC as you want and STILL respect you.
Some men go their whole lives without experiencing this .. dont let it be you!
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Very nice post. This kind of relationship has been the ultimate of what I've really ever wanted with a woman. However, relationships are tricky and I am no master and I've recently ended one that was very passionate and loving for a time. We were really in love, but maintaining that is another thing.
You have to be SO CAREFUL with these vulnerabilities. Sometimes too, you may not know what those vulnerabilities are exactly, since everyone is different and has a different history- and if you set one of these deeper vulnerabilities off unknowingly, even if she loves you madly, you will rarely get much of a second chance to rectify it. Thereafter, they will start to tear apart you and the pedestal they've put you on piece by piece over time. This is what happened to me.
Also, even if a woman asks you for advice or help, be VERY wary of trying to help them with their issues and vulnerabilities. Don't avoid it if they ask, but don't get caught up in it until you both are undeniably solid with each other. Most likely I would say it takes at least a year in most situations. In the meantime, offer short suggestions when asked, but make them feel good and secure about themselves all the while and continue that for a long time. Being your girlfriend's "shrink" often ultimately gets you less respect in their eyes, because EVEN if they say they want help from you, if they don't like the help or advice that you give them, they often start to trust you less. That is especially true if you offer up help or suggestions when they don't ask to hear them from you. That can really wear at her trust, no matter how much you care about each other and how nice you are about saying it. Let them live their lives, listen to them, and have fun at all costs.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8/09/2007 3:00 PM
Here's a story I heard years ago while backpacking in Istanbul. I met a cool Mexican guy (you know high class, peninsular type, looked Spanish from Andalucia). He was a good guy and we got to talking about women. He had just come off a long relationship with a blond "gringa" stripper whom he met at a night club in Mexico City. When they broke up Pedro (I don't remember his name so Pedro will do) told me he was really depressed. He walked around for weeks staring into little corners of bedrooms, watching architectural edifices on the street, contemplating flags on flag poles sitting listlessly in the hot Mexican summer. In to use a phrasal verb Pedro was “fucked up.”
So he decided to get out of Mexico City and go into the country to his grandfather's house. One night over some tequila Grandpa and Pedro got to talking. And Grandpa listened as his blubbery 25 year old grandson broke down and told him about his la stripper gringa. Anyway Grandpa listened and listened and then he said, "I never understood your grandmother. I never understood her. Don't understand women. Just love them."
I think if you really start to care about a girl and she cares about you she'll open up and share. But I don't think women want problem solvers. They want lovers. They need someone to give them pleasure in bed and they need someone to share with. Our jobs are to pleasure them (and ourselves) and to listen. I think Anonymous said it best with not giving too much advice when the girls start telling your their vulnerabilities.
But there is another side.... Our vulnerabilities. Yes gentlemen, we may try to pretend we aren't deeply insecure or that a good fuck will make us happy and secure (and well... it does actually but..) remember if you start opening up to her (AFC behavior) with your vulnerabilities and she doesn't respond the way you WANT her to you have every right to end the relationship or at least put it on hold for a while.
The deal is that we all have vulnerabilities and we all want our partners to love us the way we WANT them to. However as Mr. Jagger said we can't always get what we want. Desire of the ego is the thing which fucks most of us in all ways. If a man is egotistical and says that his woman must relate to him and his insecurities the way HE wants HER to then he is bound for some disappointment. And inversely if a woman wants her man to relate to HER the way SHE wants him to then she is in for some disappointment.
When there are problems in a relationship communication and taking a step back from the relationship to get a clearer head about who your lover is, is key. Take a step back, communicate (as best you can) and at that point really feel inside if this person is who you want to be with. If not then end the relationship. It will hurt but it is better than being a STUPID MALE.
Brothers, our weakness is that at the END of relationships every man (almost) is weak and winny and really wants her to stay with him because she's his validation and she's his ego support. Many of us, even if we know the relationship isn't working and needs to be over, can't end it. We let them end it because we're acting weak and male-like. Don't be this way. Look inside. If she’s not right and you’ve tried communicating with her then you know the truth. Bite the bullet.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8/09/2007 5:31 PM