Killswitch from mASF has written a very good but advanced post about the behavior of being aware of other people

There seems to be a lot of confusion about what AR is.. which is understandable, since it's such a specific yet abstract thing. I will attempt to clear some things up.

From this thing I'm writing


Chapter 3 - Passive/Active Awareness Radius

Changing the subject, I want to talk about another part of our brain.. the part that keeps track.

There are two tools our brain uses to function. One is our intelligence, the thing that finds the quickest path from point A to point B, and the other is analysis. The intelligence takes the forces and factors at play and 'problem solves' for us. Before we can use our intelligence to GET from point A to point B, we have to be aware of the forces and factors, and we have to create a map: This is where our PASSIVE AWARENESS RADIUS (pAR) kicks in. We call it the "Passive Awareness Radius" because it is literally the scope of the things that we are passively aware of.

What does "passively aware" mean? It means being aware of something almost in the back of your mind, without really thinking about it. What our pAR does is in the blink of an eye sizes up everything around us and makes a map. We see a chair, it goes in the pAR as 'obstacle' and as 'sitting tool'. When we want to sit down, our intelligence takes the forces and factors and finds the quickest and best way to solve the problem.. it consults the pAR and we go to the chair without even thinking. If we want to walk across the room, our intelligence consults the pAR and we walk around the chair without even thinking. The pAR is the 'map'.

There are countless ways something can be put on our map.. 'eatable', 'sharp', 'moveable', etc. A knife is 'sharp', a block of cheese is 'eatable', and when you want to solve a problem such as making a sandwich your intelligence will consult the map, and you will use the knife to cut a slice of cheese. This thought process happens in the blink of an eye, and you barely even think about it. The only time you would think during the sandwich-making process would be if you couldn't FIND the knife.. or in other words, when the knife wasn't in your pAR.

The things on our map are not always physical, though. If you are working on a diffucult question on an assignment, the things in your pAR will be the forces and factors relating to the question at hand. In essence, the pAR is the scope of the things you have analysed as forces and factors. If you can't find your keys, it's because they aren't in your pAR: either you can't see them or you didn't notice them when you did. If you can't solve a math problem, it's because you don't have the right formula or understanding in your pAR.

The other part of the 'analysis' part of our brain is called the ACTIVE AWARENESS RADIUS, hereafter referred to simply as AR. If the Passive Awareness Radius is the map of things we've analysed in the blink of an eye, the Active Awareness Radius is the things that we are STILL ANALYSING. The things that AREN'T in the back of our heads, because they are things that we DO NOT KNOW IF AND HOW THEY WILL AFFECT US.

The awareness radius is the 'radar screen', or in other words it is the scope of the things around us that we are actively keeping track of. For example, you're at a friend's house, and your friend shows you his new pet tarantula. Now, logically you SHOULD be thinking "I could crush this thing with pinky if I wanted" and "pet tarantulas are not poisonous", but you're not even thinking, you're just paying attention to the tarantula. The tarantula is in your AR, because you've never seen one before and you don't actually know first hand how they act.. you are hesitant to touch it and hesitant to look away from it. Wether you're scared of it or just interested by it, you are more than anything else VERY AWARE of it.

So what is a "Big" AR? What is a "Big" pAR? I'll give some examples. You are walking through a building you've been in every weekday for the past 4 years.. you know exactly where every hallway leads and exactly where every office is. Your pAR encompasses the whole building. Or, you've just watched a scary movie, and on your way back home you start thinking about all the crime in your city.. your AR grows and grows, and by the time you get home every tiny noise from every part of the house seems 10 times louder.. you turn on the TV to give you something to take over your attention, because your AR is too big.

There are many ways something can go on our AR. Some simple examples are 'potential threat', 'potential meal', 'potential benefit', 'potential mate', etc. When you are walking close to a cliff, the cliff goes in your AR as 'potential threat', and you keep your distance, trying to keep it as 'vertical drop' on your pAR. When you see a dollar bill floating by, you instantly follow it with your eyes.

To sum up, your pAR is everything on your map that is has a definite label, and your AR is everything on your map with a potential label. When something is in your AR, you are constantly monitering it so that you will know when it becomes a definite. That in essence is the PURPOSE of the AR, and also our main motivation - We are constantly trying to put things from our AR into our pAR so we can use our Intelligence to get us from A to B, and to do this we have to make things in our AR a definite.

The most important thing to remember about this topic is that when there is something in your AR, you act differently.. infact you REACT to the thing in your AR. You are trying to figure it out, and that takes over your brain, leaving no room for the intellegence part of your brain to kick in.

Excercise #3 - The next time you are out, try to see the difference between pAR and AR. A car driving by goes in your pAR (because you already KNOW how it will behave in relation to you), a bike driving by on the same sidewalk as you goes in your AR until you know it won't (or will!) hit you. Try to feel the difference.. try to feel yourself subconciously paying attention to things in your AR. If you hear a noise behind you and don't know what it is, you will turn around so you can analyse it and put it in your pAR.. the reason you turned was because the noise got into your AR, and you wanted to get it out.

Chapter 4 - Tying it all together

I said before that there was two parts to our brain - social and individual. I also said there were two parts to the way we function - intelligence and analysis. Both areas of the brain used to function also both exist in the social and individual part of our brain. What that means is, just like we can see a chair in our pAR, we can see a friend in our pAR. Just like we can see a bear as a potential threat in our AR, we can see another guy as a potential threat to our social standing in our AR. This is essentially the concept that makes up the basis for this method.

Our AR is the sum of things we are keeping track of, and we are constantly trying to get things OUT of our AR and into our pAR. If we are an AFC and there is a hot girl nearby, she will go in our AR and we will find ourselves acting differently around her, trying to either turn her into a mate, or if we're shy and don't think we have a chance with her, trying to neutralize the threat she has to our EGO. What that means is we basically try to act cool around her, no matter who we are. If we're shy we just don't want her to notice us, if we're not we want her to submit to us. The point is, WE notice HER, and wether or not we want her to notice us we ACT DIFFERENTLY. We are actively paying attention to her, even if we aren't speaking or looking directly at her. That is called 'having her in your AR'.

This actually reaches very deeply.. every time you are around someone who you consider to be higher on the social scale than you, they go in your AR. Pay attention the next time you are in a group and someone very high-value comes in.. watch how, even if not everyone is talking directly to him or her, they are all PAYING ATTENTION to him or her.. shutting up when they start talking, laughing (or groaning) at their jokes, looking where they look, repeated glances at them.. etc. Beyond that, some of the members of the group may like or dislike the person, but they are all REACTING to him/her.

I want to use a little analogy to show how having a lot of things in your AR (or having a BIG AR) shows weakness, and having very few things in your AR (having a small AR) shows strength. Imagine you are a rabbit out in a field.. as a rabbit, almost anything that moves that is bigger than you is probably out to eat you. Every time you see something move, you analyse it.. if you didn't, you'd get eaten. Your AR is huge, because you are constantly monitering your entire surroundings on the lookout for a predator.

Now imagine you are a bear, eating a rabbit in a field. As a bear, there is almost nothing in the woods that can hurt you besides other bears, there are no threats. Therefore the only things besides bigger bears that ever go in your AR are 'potential food' and 'potential mate'. Let's just say you are now chowing down on some rabbit, and you see a small animal walk by. Do you analyse it? Unless it's a bear, no.. you probably don't even notice it. Your AR is small because you are stronger than most things in the forest, and you are already eating. The animal walking by INSTANTLY goes on your pAR as 'ignore', and you don't even turn your head to find out what it is. Large AR = weakness, Small AR = strength. Large AR = easily distracted, Small AR = focused.

Now picture a guy that is already banging a super hot chick. He won't even notice most girls around him, because A) he is not interested in them and B) they can't affect him... they can try to take him down a peg socially, but he will still be banging someone hotter than them anyway. Unless he sees someone HOTTER than his current girl, he won't be reactive to any girl.. even while talking to them he will be bored, half-assed, and comfortable with ending the conversation at any time.

This applies to us in every area of our social network. If we are socially weak, we pay attention to alot of people.. we wonder what they are thinking, we are constantly analysing them, trying to put them down as friend, neutral or foe in our pAR. We do this because we are very dependant socially, and how we come off to others matters to us a great deal. On the other hand, if we are socially strong, we don't really pay attention to a lot of people, because we already know they are not a threat to our social standing. They, in essence, go on our pAR as 'ignore' unless we want something from them.

THE REASON THIS IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW - One of the first things people notice about someone when they are analyzing them, and we are very good at this, is the size of that person's AR. (I think basically what we want to know is "Who is going to be more reactive? Me, or this person?"). We can tell by their body language, their tone of voice, the things they say, and most importantly THE WAY THEY REACT TO THINGS. Ever see a really jumpy guy, that turns his head every time something makes a sound, and think to yourself "This guy is scared of something!"? We are instinctively able to recognize someone else's AR (read ijjji's experiments with a cat).

NOW DOWN TO THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT FROM THIS WHOLE THING - People assume strength and value when they see you have a small AR. How do we get them to see we have a small AR? We get inside THEIR AR, and stay there. How do we get in and stay in their AR? WE DO SOME INITIAL THING TO GET THEM TO NOTICE US, AND THEN WE AVOID BEING PUT IN THEIR pAR BY AVOIDING BEING PREDICTABLE OR READABLE.

Once we become predictable, they can put us in their pAR as whatever we've come off as, and they stop thinking about us. (The only time going into an pAR is good is when we are labeled 'easy lay' and they are horny.) We want them to be paying attention to us and TRYING TO FIGURE US OUT unsuccessfully, and in doing so we want them to see that we have a SMALL AR. As I said before, we are always trying to put things from our AR into our pAR.. when we persist in someone elses AR, they will try to get us out of it.

They will try to label us as 'ignore' with a bitch shield (hoping we'll leave), they will try to label us as 'eager' by being overflirtatious (hoping we'll fall for it and become overflirtatious ourselves), they will try to label us as 'weak' with shit tests. THIS IS THE BASIS FOR BUILDING ATTRACTION - When we've broken through the labels, and remain in their AR long enough for them to conclude that we are strong and high value, we will become 'potential mate' (or 'potential leader/role model' for guys) and stay permanently in their AR.

Excercise #4 - Try to experiment with having people in and out of your AR.. the next time your roomate comes home, try and see if you can go on behaving as if he or she is not there.. singing to yourself, acting the exact way you were when they weren't there.. I think you'll find it very difficult at first. Try to pay attention until you can spot someone else's AR.. if you notice that every time person A says something, he is looking at person B, you can know that person B is in person A's AR. Try to see if you can feel your own AR.. feel the things that pull your gaze, things that you are actively paying attention to. Do this while talking to them and while doing your own thing.

Three key points I want to make.
1) To use your Intelligence to get from point A to point B, the forces and factors have to be in your pAR. Point A, point B, and the path between them have to be in your pAR.

2) When your AR is too big, and your pAR is too small, your Intelligence cannot get you from point A to point B.

3) If something is in your AR, it is not in your pAR, and you can't use your Intelligence to get to it